Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Gay/men



To distract myself from too many new stories that make me angry, another irritated thought and a half on gaydom and manhood.

More evidence that gay culture does not actually like men. Liking a big dick and muscles and liking men are not the same at all.*

An opinion piece on one of the meet-up sites I visit lamented and lampooned the "false" masculinity of men who are total tops, that is, who are always in the active roles in sex with other men. (Hey, what happened to diversity?)

The gay rule is that if you have too much classic masculinity in role or attitude or values or presentation or interests, etc, you must be invited/hectored/shamed into exploring your feminine side. In the case above, you should learn to get fucked and like it, Mary.

But never, and I mean never...correct me if I'm wrong...does the public conventional wisdom or the voice of our enlightened LGBT rulers invite/hector/shame any gay man with a paucity of masculinity and a plethora of femininity to explore his masculine side.

(This despite the not uncommon phenomenon of a fag dissing another fag for being a fag. Sorta like the in-house-only business of a nigger dissing another nigger for being a nigger.)

Suggests to me again the unfortunate likelihood that "gay" does not mean "sexually attracted to the same sex" but actually means "an effeminate man who likes sex with men." Effeminacy is the default and classic position which is always to be protected and celebrated, never critiqued. Masculinity, however, is always to be held in suspicion, contempt or ridicule.

In gaydom, you can't have too much feminine but you can easily have too much masculine.

In this world, drag queens are the real men, being their ballsy true selves. Let us applaud them as our true hero...ines. Whatever. Ru rules. Muscular leather daddies, on the other hand, (though they are damn hot, aren't they?) are enacting a compensatory, self-hating and dangerously fascist fantasy of pathetically overdone maleness. Get over it, girlfriend.

What a mess.

*[A lot of straight culture does not like women...is there something here that transcends sexual orientation, that it's easy to dislike the object of your erotic drive? Does some of the natural aggression in sex always morph into hatred? But in the case of gay males, that becomes hatred of yourself.]

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

An interesting thing about the masculinity-dissing from/among the gays is how the supporting ideology is either

A: "men and women are really the same" and should thus start acting like like it,

or B: "homosexuals are really more like women than men" and again, should start acting ditto,

but most commonly of all, the ideology is pushing A and B _at the same time_. No realization that the two things can't even both be true in a logically consistent universe. Boys and girls are really the same, and we homos are the real Gurls. --??

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, because I know that when the book by Mr. Donovan and me come out, we're going to be accused of writing a volume with nothing gendery-bendery about it -- a known homo no-no.

--Nate_FM

OreamnosAmericanus said...

Homo no-no. I like that.

You're right about the mixed message.

As for the upcoming accusations...a badge of honor.

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