Thursday, August 12, 2010

Not the only ending?


I'm wondering whether to step down from my cathedra and either give this blog a good long rest or put it to rest for good.

Certainly by this time, my opinions on any given topic are not surprising. I put this together four years ago not to do research or convince anyone of anything, but to rant and ramble. Which I have done. Repeatedly. B did a Google search of my blog images several weeks ago and summed them up as "naked men and angry Muslims." If his opus of 2009 (see above) is any indication, either he or I have not moved along much since then.

And the other thing on my mind is that B has been, and may still be, a reader. He had a history of making comments under a variety of assumed names. Most times I could tell it was him; sometimes he fooled me. Very clever fellow. And when we have had our difficulties and distanced ourselves, this blog was a back-handed side-door way of sorta communicating even then. Of course, part of me still wants to do that.
A habit of the heart. But is it a good idea to make a painful decision like breaking up and then fiddle with it?
Done that a lot before. The urge is still there, but I might be a little smarter now.

It's a funny thing, too, talking about private life on a blog. Even though, in principle, almost anyone on earth with internet access --except in China-- can read it, in fact I know that I have few readers. People I personally know who read this would know the basics of my daily life anyway. And most others who read it do not know my actual identity, much less B's. Although I have tried to be even-handed when writing about him here, I am not sure it's fair to do even that now.

Today is Thursday, a day when we would usually get together. I will certainly be aware that he won't be here today. I bet it will cross his mind, too. All sorts of things are ending.

1 comment:

DoDoGuRu said...

I'd be disappointed if you stopped blogging. Though I don't comment much I make your blog part of my blog cycle and I really like when you post.

I hope you keep it going!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...